I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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