sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
