Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
