I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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