SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
