Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
