If that was your dad, he is hot
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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