please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize