I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
