my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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