Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
