I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
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This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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