I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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