he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
