Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
