We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
