i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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