Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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