I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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