well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
