I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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