Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
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I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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