Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Your cock deserves a montage
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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