dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
