I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
