It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
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IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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