After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize