I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
