there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
