she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I wear drunk well.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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