no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize