The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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