ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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