it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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