Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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