so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize