NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize