This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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