Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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