highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He did a backflip because drugs
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
