On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
