you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The beer is more important than you right now.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
