Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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