i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
