I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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