Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm passing your future prison.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This is the high leading the old right now
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
