I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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