I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
