She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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