This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
