we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize