i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
