dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize