just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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